This is not a specific 2012 reflection per say. More so, this is a reflection on the life that I have lived thus far… Although of course, the focus is on 2012.

The inevitables

You know, when I was young, I hated changes. I hated adapting to new environments. I didn’t like doing things that’s out of my usual routine. Basically, I liked things to stay the way they are.

But we all know that change is inevitable. In fact, whether I liked it or not, change happens. From my age to how I look to my height (yes I grew taller.) From the things I like to the people I hang with to the stuff I buy. Change is inevitable.

So finally, some time in my early 20s, I accepted change. I accepted the very fact that there are things in life (many things, in fact) that will have to change. Moving to Melbourne, going from school to uni to working life, finding God and growing in my faith… Changes. Finding out about superficial love and then finding the love of my life and then getting married early this year… Huge change. And you know what? Changes aren’t always bad. So I learnt to deal with it.

When I got to the age of 25 I thought to myself: “Gosh, I’m growing old.” But you can’t stop time, can you? I grew older each year. And next year, I’d be closer to 30 than I am to 25; therefore probably mid-20s is no longer the appropriate term for me. That is shocking. But that too is change. Inevitable.

A change of mind

Another thing I am shocked by, even more so than the realisation that I am getting old, is the very fact that I am now almost a different person to this carefree happy-go-lucky kid that I once was.

I’m probably still happy-go-lucky. But different.

When I was young, I didn’t have any ambition or goal in life. I didn’t want to achieve anything in this lifetime, apart from just enjoying “today”. I grew up to be a well-adjusted lady (can’t you tell?) but somehow in between all that growing up, something was stirred in me.

This thing called passion.

This passion made me the person that I am today. This passion made me want to do things, achieve things, live life. This passion made me think that even with the littlest talents and skills that I have, I can still do many great little things.

This passion is what I wish each and every one of you also have in your own life; and if you don’t right now, I hope you will find your passion some time soon. Keep searching. As someone I admired once said: “Stay hungry, stay foolish” (Awesome man, Steve Jobs.)

A change of mind? Probably. But from someone who has no aspiration in life except for owning her own place one day, I now have so many things I’d love to try and do. In fact, I probably need to focus on certain things rather than just devouring everything like there’s no tomorrow. Although, that’s not a bad idea afterall… Stay hungry.

2012 at a glance

I planned something and executed it successfully. Well, basically, I planned my own wedding. And yes, it started in 2011, but it was in early 2012 that everything happened. Plenty of DIYs, plenty of little sleep, plenty of doing monotonous cutting and sticking, plenty of fun. I finished something. It felt good. It also felt like I can do so much more.

OurWeddingCafe

I got married. Pretty huge change, I’d have to say. I had the awesomest wedding ever. The kind of weddings that I would look at in magazines and go: “Whoa! I want something like that.” Well, guess what? I had that *brag*. And I am forever grateful to all my friends and family who helped us through the process and then celebrated the day with us.

Missing out? Here’s some photos and some more photos.

I fell in love with a country and its people. I went to Japan for honeymoon and, wow, what a beautiful place. I know I will be back with Jax. We’re Japanophiles now.

I am finding myself more and more inclined to voice out my opinion (how very un-Asian of me) and to speak up. My old self would find it uncomfortable seeing the new me. I find that it is just one of those things that ought to happen.

I figured out a bit more about myself. That’s always a good thing. But as soon as you figure some stuff out, you change into something else. So it’s always a process of re-figuring… Or something like that.

This uneasy feeling that has been in me for a while has grown also. This passion in me for things that I want to do and things that I love doing… That passion is growing. And even though I haven’t done anything to change, I think I am very close to doing so. It takes me a while, I’m a slow learner (always have been), but I will get there.

So 2013 will be an interesting year. Hopefully I will embrace the changes as they come. Hopefully I will make decisions based on this passion rather than other external factors. Else, 2013 won’t be half as interesting…

Did you see changes in you this year? What’s the biggest change for you in 2012? What would you like to see change in 2013?