A lot can happen in six months. Like, moving to a different country and starting a new life here or something…
When we stepped foot in Narita Airport on 29 February this year, there were so many uncertainties. We didn’t have a permanent home yet, the hubby didn’t have a job yet, we couldn’t speak much Japanese and had no idea what was in store for us. Six months on, we are now one of the “oldies” in the sharehouse, the hubby loves his teaching job, we still can’t speak Japanese properly, and… well, we are still a little clueless about what’s ahead of us, but this – living in Japan – sure feels normal now.
So I thought I’ll share a little bit about some of the things that have become the norm now, six months on.
Sharehouse living
I spoke about my first experience of living with so many other people in my earliest reflection (40 days into Japan adventure). Then, I’ve only just moved in and met some new people. Now, well… I’ve made so many new friends and then said goodbye to most of them and made more new friends and even said goodbye to those new ones too.
Life in a sharehouse is never static. It’s always changing, something is always happening, and people are always moving in and out. But you know what? I still love living in this particular sharehouse very much. I love the friends that I’ve made and I can’t wait to meet more new people that come my way. It’s like being able to explore a new city together with others who are as excited as you are. It is getting to know the locals with our broken Japanese and hoping that we’ll meet somewhere in the middle (it’s working out okay). It is doing things together, sharing meals together, and laughing at each other’s silliness together.
I can’t share with you all the sharehouse shenanigans that have happened (and let’s just say there had been so many), but here are some of the things that I’ve had the privilege of experiencing:
- Home parties
We celebrated birthdays and said our farewells. We had our welcome party, takoyaki party, sushi party, and watermelon party. Okay, I think “party” is not always the right word, but who cares. - Creative stuff
Surprisingly, a number of creative people moved in to this sharehouse, which is quite exciting. I love listening to stories and ideas and to see them happen. I’ve also had the chance to help with filming a short support video for a startup. That was fun, to say the least! - Study sesh
Sometimes (I actually hope this happens a little more often, haha) we would go out to the lounge and study Japanese together. This is good, because studying by yourself in the room is so un-motivating that it pretty much does not work. Spur each other on! - Games
From card games like snap (ouch!) to resistance to UNO to some random Korean games that go: “bunny bunny 2x”, “carrot 2x”. Yeah, don’t ask, it was fun. - Sleepover
Well it was just that one night before two of our closest friends had to leave, and some of us decided to do an all-nighter but that didn’t work out so there were short naps in between. - TV time
One thing that you get to do together when you live with a bunch of people is to watch TV. We had our Game of Thrones Monday night sesh, cartoon sesh (Bob’s Burgers and more), and my favourite: Terrace House! For those who don’t know, it’s like the Japanese version of Big Brother, but milder and more like a J-dorama. With cute haafu boys. - Sports
What?! Julie includes sports in “fun experiences”? Yes. Even if it’s not me, I know that the hubby loves his sports, and living in a sharehouse has allowed us to do more sports together with others. - Grocery shopping
Some people might like doing their groceries, I’m not one of those people. But in Japan, it’s bearable because there are always new seasonal stuff in the snacks section. And when we go with a few other people, we can share our expertise (i.e. “I’ve tried this tofu before, it was good.” or “That tuna was really fresh.” So on.) - Late night chats & appreciating cats
Okay, two unrelated things, but I’m just trying to fit all the things I love into one sentence.
I’m sure there are (and will be) more, and I might sneak one or two in later.
New habits & routines
This is probably a given, but when you live elsewhere, you will probably develop new habits and routines. There will be things you do differently in one place than in another. In Japan, especially, there are so many new rules and customs that we have to follow and we literally learn them as we go… sometimes making mistakes in the process!
But of course, apart from the must-dos, we’ve also acquired other new habits. So let’s go through some of these changes now, shall we?
- Recycling: Who knew throwing away your rubbish would be so complicated? Well in Japan, it is. From the first few weeks of navigating through our junk at home to finishing our Maccas meals and not knowing how to dispose the leftovers… It has been an experience, but I am now more conscious about recycling, and I think that’s a good thing to take with me when I leave this country (not the rubbish, but the recycling habit of course).
- Exercising: Okay, I know I put exercising, but really it’s basically just playing badminton once a week and walking due to Pokemon Go over the weekends. And I think I also walk a whole lot more now than I used to. I mean, trams within the city are free in Melbourne, so I tend to get lazy and take the tram even if it was just one stop.
- Politeness: The quietness in the trains. The bowing down and sumimasen-ing everything. Queueing up in an orderly manner. The thinking about others rather than just being individualistic. These are the things that you’d learn when you’re in Japan. And I’m glad that I have now experienced living in 3 different countries with very varying cultures.
- Saying random phrases: I think I now react differently. Not sure if this habit will be seen weirdly when I do return to Australia, but I do my shares of “eeeeh” and “un un” when listening to people talk. Over-reaction or simply active listening?
- Being alone: Not sure if this is a good habit, tbh, but I’ve never been the type of person who’d just go out for a meal by myself (take away does the job), or just enjoy being alone. But being in a place that allows you to eat a meal by yourself peacefully, I have now been doing that more and more.
- The art of pushing: Let’s just put it this way… The next time a tram in Melbourne refuses to stop for me because it’s “full”, I will look at it with contempt because, no, you don’t know what “full” is, Melbourne. The pushing at peak hour trains here in Tokyo really is intense.
All in all, living in a foreign country and learning new tricks… it’s always going to be an adventure in and of itself. And Japan sure provides a fun one.
Friendship
Sometimes you don’t realise how quickly you can be close friends with people. And as those who know me well probably know, I love my friends very dearly. To have the chance to meet new friends and share our lives with each other on a daily basis, let’s just say I am so very very thankful. I thought that moving to a new country will mean not having any close friend for a year, but how very wrong I was. So to all the new friends I’ve made, thanks for making this oddball very happy.
In saying that, I have been doing a lot of thinking re: friendship. With technology and social media, it’s so easy to keep in touch with people from all over the world. Heck it, some probably don’t even realise I’ve left Melbourne because they’re still getting so many updates from me. But there’s something about real life connection that even the best of technology can’t replicate. And I do miss the hugs (towards me) and the grappling (between the boys), the long lunches and the weekend meet-ups, the roadtrips and the home-cooked dinners. Basically, what I’m trying to say is… I really really do miss the special bunch of friends I have back home.
Wait a second, why is this turning into a sad emotional speech?!
What I was trying to say is, six months really is a long time. And in that time, you get to meet new people and you also get to miss the ones you don’t see often. By you, I mean “I”. And in this regards, I am reminded: “In all things, give thanks”.
Where is home?
I touched on this topic a little bit in my previous reflection. I guess I’ve always struggled in answering this one. The first 14 years of my life was spent in Indonesia and the next 17 years in Australia. I don’t know if one is more home than the other. Obviously, not being able to remember much of my early days made it seem as if I’ve spent most of my life in Melbourne. But when Olympics is on, I know which team I’ll be barracking the most… Indonesia.
And now that I’ve lived in Tokyo for 6 months, is it too quick for me to say that this is home? Is this just a temporary stay? Will I be back after the one year stay? I don’t know yet. It’s something to be discussed and thought through. And I don’t fully know what the outcome will be, or what I want the outcome to be.
I love this city. Living in Tokyo is like a dream. I still pinch myself (figuratively) from time to time to remind myself that this is reality. I am living in a place I love so so much. I’m trying not to be frivolous in my use of the hashtag #blessed, but truly I am blessed to be able to choose to live in Japan this year.
Six months. Half a year is gone. It feels like it’s gone by really quickly. It feels like I want to stay much much longer… I’ve read stories of many expats who intended to stay here for one year and ended up being here for many years after. I think a little part of me wishes for the same future. When Japan showcased its Tokyo 2020 video during the handover ceremony of Rio 2016, I thought to myself: wouldn’t it be great to still be here then?
That’s all for now. I should really blog a little more often.